unfollovving:

If you’re gonna keep being cute then you’ll have to kiss me, I’m sorry I don’t make the rules

catswithbenefits:

i dont want a job i just want paychecks

me: *walks up to a group of middle schoolers skateboarding*
me: lemme show you a trick or two
middle schoolers: *hand me a board*
me: this one's called stealing
me: *runs away with it*

booksandpublishing:

dukeofbookingham:

THERE IS A WHOLE CATEGORY OF HOGWARTS ATMOSPHERES ON AMBIENT-MIXER. SO IF YOU HAVE WIFI AND WANT TO FEEL LIKE YOU’RE AT THE CASTLE, CLICK HERE.

image

This exists.

"

1. If he doesn’t answer, don’t keep sending texts. If he wanted to talk to you, he would’ve responded.

2. People will make time for you when they care about you. If he says he’s too busy or constantly cancels his plans, he doesn’t care. People fight for you when they care.

3. Don’t let him touch you on the first date. If he tries, he’s not there for the same reasons you are.

4. You can tell a lot about a person by their favorite book.

5. If he can stomach more than ten straight shots without feeling a thing, he drinks too much.

6. Ask the uncomfortable things. When was the last time he was so high he couldn’t speak? What does he regret the most? Does he drink to remember or to forget?

7. Don’t send pictures unless you want to. If he has to talk you into it, don’t do it. If you hesitate, don’t do it. If you do take a picture, don’t include your face. Keep yourself safe.

8. If you can’t laugh when you’re having sex with him, maybe you aren’t sleeping with the right person. Sex isn’t about tricks and tips and routines.

9. If he hurts you, cut him out. He’s gone, he isn’t coming back, and you don’t need to prolong the pain.

10. Don’t be afraid to open up again. I promise not everyone will love you with a knife behind their back.

"

~Boy advice from someone who made the same mistakes too often  (via pushingpositivity)

(Source: guiseofgentlewords)

mebemrcupcakes:

If you want to be friends with me you don’t have to be “Hi, um, can, ya know, we be friends?”

It is 1000000000000000000000% percent ok if you just go into my inbox can go. “Man, I am so fucking pissed off at fucking Larry.” And I’ll most likely respond with, “Oh shit! What did Larry do now?” 

modestmgmtofficial:

everything’s so funny when u use the wrong measurement:

  • 5 gallons of homework
  • mouthful of lint
  • 20 degrees of facial oil
  • 7 pints of china
  • handful of fergi
  • 60 mph of dad

done:

with your shit